The fun part of seeing my doctors is that they say things like, "You look fabulous!" and "Wow, you look great!!" Of course, in parentheses after that is, "for someone who just had his face sawed apart." But we don't need to dwell on that part. Look, reader, compliments about my face are rare. Let me have this.
I was hoping for something new – maybe fewer restrictions. But I just got, "keep doing what you're doing." (i.e., blended diet, no nose blowing, still no straws). They did indicate no strenuous exercise for two months. That's the nicest thing a doctor has ever done for me. Laziness on doctor's orders?!?! Ok, I'll try my best. Is watching reality T.V. strenuous?
Good news, I noticed today increased feeling in my formerly "dead" cheek. My lower lip is still cadaverous – plump, luscious, glistening, and cadaverous. Like a dead hooker. (As I imagine a dead hooker to look. I mean, how would I even know?) Just drop it, reader. Drop it.
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