Crazy eyes, chubby cheeks, and glistening lips? That's right. If Laura Bush, a Kewpie doll, and a hooker all had a baby... Well, that would be messed up. But whatever resulted would look a lot like me.
Went to see Billy Elliot with some friends. It was a great time. My friend, Kyle, looked me over and said, "Well, I can see how it's all going to come together," – like I'm an apartment mid-renovation...
"We've got just a few weeks, a budget of tens of thousands of dollars, and a team of doctors to turn this apneic, mouth-breather into a restful retreat with Old World charm. You're watching HGTV's 'Face Crashers!'"
Actually, Kyle is incredibly kind and optimistic. It was great seeing everyone. I even drank some alcohol. Want to see how much?
|The strongest drink I've ever met.|
So, what's new with my face?
- periodic stings (one under my eye and one at the corner of my mouth)
- sensation returning to my "dead cheek"