Back to the Hospital (Early)

I'm not going to lie. I was freaking out a little. I wanted to get back and get looked over by the doctors and get some sort of spray/rinse/DDT or something to kill whatever was growing in my mouth.

I sat head-tipped, tissue to mouth in the waiting area hoping not to drool publicly and wondering if I was going to scare off any future business.

Dr. Smart/Mini-Tom Cruise saw me. He said I did not have an infection. My tongue was a little discolored from the special rinse they gave me and from just being dried out from my mouth not being able to close for so long.

Shoehorns, Boogers, and Tough Love

Two of the doctors took some time to clean up my mouth. They said I'd done a good job. I never brushed the roof of my mouth because I was: 1) scared to, and 2) not sure about those weird lumps. It turned out that the weird lumps were layers of dried medicine that had turned into some kind of stalactites that resembled Froot by the Foot when extracted with tweezers. If you don't know, they brush your teeth with shoe horns to get your enormous lips out of the way. Seriously. A little nuts.

Then he said he'd "clean up my nose". Ok, if you're not in this blog 100%, here's your warning, TURN BACK! If you find you frequently say or type the word "Ew!" then this is your chance to get out now. So, Dr. Smart takes a swab and goes up into my (tender) nose and begins to coax out what Jeff said was the biggest booger he's ever seen in his entire life. I cannot tell you how satisfying it was to get that out of there. I could use my nose again.

The final bit was some tough love. Dr. Smart told me to start talking more. He wants me to practice – reading out loud, reciting, whatever.

I have to say the visit turned around my whole perspective. I had been so scared of my face – scared to touch my jaw, scared to move, scared to talk, scared of pain. He told me the pain is just soreness from use. I got it. I came home, gave up all my pain meds and began working on my s and z sounds. Thanks Dr. That's just what I needed to hear.