"Before" StatusIt's obvious I have a lot in common with the women above. We're all hilarious, talented, and overachieve in the cartilage department – cartilaginously. Yes, dear reader. After a major surgery, having my jaws and chin sawed off and screwed back into my skull, after two years of braces, after nerve damage and a puree diet, guess what. I'm still a "before". Well, I'm on my way. I guess. But I've got a long way to go – facially. My breathing has improved. I'm told I snore maybe some, maybe infrequently – not bad. (I still need another sleep study.) And my face has improved. When I look at my "before-before" pictures I am not just a "before", I'm a buh-foooooore. I'm a "Who did this to you? Do you need an ambulance?" So, despite the fact that I still have mild post traumatic reactions to surgery on TV, I went to see my plastic surgeon, Dr. DeRosa, to talk about my rhinoplasty and septoplasty.
Office of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive SurgeryWhen you go to offices at the Massachusetts Eye and Ear (and, secretly, Nose) Infirmary, the offices are clean and nice and medical office-y. And I've been to MANY of them. But when you go into the Office of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (or, OFPARS, as no one calls it), it is fancy. Even faaaaancyyyy. I met with Dr. DeRosa. There wasn't a harpist or passed hors d'oeuvres in the waiting room, but if there had been, I can't say I'd have been surprised. Canapé, reader?
Below (left) is my current dorsal-humped handsomeness. Then (right), you can see the fake nose I put on myself. I have to admit. I like it. Here are the breakdown of costs. After the part insurance covers, I pay:
Surgeon's Fee: $2,500
Anesthesiologist fee: $630
Hospital fees: $1,000
I'll have a tiny scar, 7 days with a cast on my nose (and presumably tiny crutch), swelling for a few months. What do you think, reader?
I'm not sure, but I think I can have a woman "shave my bump" for closer to $50 if I know where to look. I'll keep you informed.