Monday, March 19, 2012

On Your Nose with a Rubber Hose, Nightly.

So, fun fact. If you don't try a CPAP (Continuous Positive Air Pressure) machine, your insurance company might decline your surgery. Read your policy.

My CPAP machine arrived today. The technician was very nice and explained everything very well. (We also talked about Walking Dead. I promised to start watching.)

It has a reservoir to hold distilled water that gives you some moisture and that can be heated. (Bacteria sandwich anyone?) I chose an over-the-nose mask because I couldn't get a seal with the under-the-nose-nostril-pluggers.

See the antenna in the back? Ding, ding, ding, ding, dong, dong, dong, ksh, wee-ooo, wee-ooo. Yes, that's the sound of the modem that send reports on your usage to ensure compliance. If you don't use it, they'll know it. Well, whatever. I am a very compliant patient AND people with apnea say they get great sleep with these.

One last note: my sleep specialist had attended a professional development seminar on Sex and the CPAP. Really? What kind of roleplay can you do with CPAP?

[Cut to...]
Oh no! My mask fell from the overhead compartment. Our plane is going to crash!! But I haven't had sex... yet. (cue music)

Are you as turned on as I'm not?

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