Clean as a whit-whoo!! (232 days or 7 months, 17 days post)

Jess is a Horrible Person

I went in for my regular cleaning. Everyone reading this will agree that Jess is a horrible person. Ok, reader. You caught me. You see right through me. Jess is wonderful. She's hilarious, smart, pretty, and kind. And her fiancé is a helicopter pilot. Yeah. His name is Keon or Kyan or whichever way is the perfect way to spell key-on. Their children will be so attractive that you won't be able to look directly at them or your eyes will melt like in Raiders of the Lost Ark. You get it now. She's awful. She's the worst kind of person. You wish you didn't like her, but you can't help it. She's lovable.

Ok. so Dr. Murthy put these weird loops on my wires. They are antennae that convert broadcast television so I can use an old-style T.V. Wait, or they move my teeth. One or the other. Actually, they have not yet been "activated." So right now all they do is trap food. So I've got that going for me. 

When I went in for my cleaning. (Which I honestly look forward to.) I was worried that Jess would find an old newspaper or a pickle lodged in my grill. (She did not.) I have not been flossing because my mouth is super sensitive. As a result of my recovering nerves, I seem to have a baby mouth. (Not the baby mouth I keep in a jar buried in the yard.) I mean when I brush my teeth, it burns. Like tears-in-the-eyes burns. Like hop around waving-my-hand-in-front-of-face burns. The other weird thing is that when Jess moved a tool along the gum line of one tooth, I had the sensation that she was actually jabbing the back of my mouth with a sharp object. She, however, denies doing this. I probably shouldn't have told her, because I'm pretty sure she then jabbed me a bunch of other times and said, "Weird, it must be those nerves again." Typical.

Topics of discussion were my latest dates, her fiancé bear hunting in Alaska (I know.), mustaches, and crazy T.V. shows. I promised to watch Homeland and Game of Thrones. I can't believe how much we talk and laugh despite her fingers, a water spray, and a suction tube being in my mouth. I guess it takes a lot to shut me up. 

Like Thanksgiving in Your Mouth 

In the bathroom of the waiting room was a large brown glass jug that I haven't seen before. It was "Herbal Tooth & Gum Tonic." It can best be described as a thin, minty gravy. Perhaps laced with habaneros (or perhaps that was my baby mouth again.) I asked if it was supplied for free. And it turns out Dr. Dority got it for some hard-to-believe, amazing deal. Well, I am actually not amazed at all that it was gotten for a very low price. Nope. Not amazed at all.